D. Shiney, a man of forty, was lying underneath a large metal shelving unit, humming John Parr’s classic: St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion). He remained calm though he was wedged tightly between the aluminum grate and the basement’s concrete wall. Just like in the song, Shiney was entering the period of his life where all his striving, all his wasted and well-used hours, the virtues inside him would be put to the test.
Just once in his life…
A man has his time.
He murmured to himself as Dirk Jr. slipped into the basement. Jr. was a scrawny kid with a penchant to smoke leaf in the window well. Bong and bud in hand, he was crawling up to open the window when his father startled him off the ledge.
AND MY TIME IS NOW
I’M COMING ALIVE!
As Dirk Senior ratcheted the last column into place, his son slipped back upstairs like scalded ferret- his broken bong clanking in his hoodie pouch.
The beauty of Mr. Shiney’s business was the simplicity of his product. He sold storage racks. They could be assembled quickly by people who had never assembled racks of any kind. It reflected Shiney’s internal simplicity; his directness. His product, I-Racks, was a best seller in Sioux Falls for the past 5 years. They were named for their ‘I’ shaped channels and ease of self assembly. He was named Storage Solutions Magazine’s ‘Top Regional Metal Based Solution’ two years ago.
Then Denny Cadeaux moved to town…
Denny had been slinging his wall mounted metal shelves (Rack-em’s) in Kansas City before moving to the Sioux Falls suburbs with six kids in tow. Denny was hungry, and had his wife’s children from another marriage to feed.
The local paper called it a Storage Wars: Rack-em’s vs I-Racks
Shiney figured he’d need to step up his game, and started selling outdoor racks to go with his indoor offerings (though the margins on outdoor racks were pitiful).
Cadeaux turned the heat up by expanding his product mix, offering different colors, shapes, and sizes. Around town, people were clamoring for his stylish and variable offerings.
The competition stretched Shiney to his limits, but he responded to the pressure by expanding his target market. Instead of selling to consumers, he began contracting with businesses to offer the sale and installation of his rack product.
A year into the Rack feud, Shiney caught a contract that would allow him to step away from consumer storage. Permanently. The most popular Yakisoba restaurant in the area (Yakisoba Restaurant) was opening its ninth location (Yakisoba Restaurant IX) and was making plans to expand to at least two more locations on top of that (Yakisoba Restaurant X and Yakisoba Restaurant XI).
If Dirk could convince the restaurant to buy into his indoor options for its three new kitchens, he’d have profited enough from the B2B sales to bring manufacturing in-house. The jump in profit margins would allow him to take a back seat and let Dirk Jr. run the enterprise. That's really all he wanted. To be proud of Dirk Jr. that is.
Little did he know, his son had seduced the owner of the restaurant chains, Mrs. Halliburton. Mrs. H allowed herself to be emotionally pleasured by Dirk Jr, whom she had met while conducting business with his father. Something about the boy confused her; set her hormones ablaze. Maybe it was the lingering scent of Black & Mild’s (jazzy flavor). He whispered in her ear one night: How about I throw you up against one of those indoor racks, pickle you, and store you conveniently at ambient temperature?
She shivered at the memory, its probably the reason she went with the more expensive shelving option.
Dirk hiked up his linen trousers and walked the circumference of his garden. The grass felt good on his bare feet. He stooped to pick mulch from between his toes, and couldn’t help but wonder what Denny Cadeaux was up to. Maybe he moved back to Kansas, maybe he was selling his wares door-to-door. The one thing we do know:
Well played, sir. Any post that ends with an absurd pun has earned THIS bot account’s approval.